Helsinki: Dear dream journal,

I had a dream last night that I was the maid of honor at Denise Huxtable's wedding. This does not at all fit into established The Cosby Show continuity, which deeply upsets me.

Also in attendance at Denise Huxtable's wedding (maybe it was Vanessa's, in which case nothing about the dream particularly contradicts the canonical storyline) were a bunch of adorable children dressed up in silly outfits, at which point it was revealed that the theme of the wedding was The Lollipop Guild.

Also, I'm back in Helsinki, ttyl

Vaasa: Poetry in motion

It's been way too long and I promised I'd post about the cruise and blah blah blah blah blah and everyone's forgotten about my blog now anyway, so I guess I can do whatever I want. In 3 parts, I think.

Part 1: So, if you believe the rumors (and I know I do, even though I should probably know better), my biological grandfather was a sailor, and therefore I am entitled to run around and say things like "THE SEA IS IN MY BLOOD" and "THE OCEAN RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS" and "THERE ARE LARGE QUALITIES OF SALTWATER IN MY ARTERIES" etc etc.

JUST LOOK AT IT

There's no proof or anything to back up this heritage claim o' mine, but I'm convinced it's true, because why else would I be so fond of staring at boat wakes?

This is seriously what I do every time I'm on a boat (provided I'm awake enough; I think I get a pass for the time I fainted in a Wal-Mart and then was on a ferry five hours after my party with all the EMTs), and the cruise was no exception. I stare down at the foamsplosion (DID I MENTION THAT I AM A POET) until my neck hurts, and it's not good for me, ergonomically speaking. But I'm a sailor, so I will do what I want and then die of peglegs or something someday.

Part 2: In Finnish class, we've been inexplicably reading a lot of articles about the relationships between men and women (almost all of which make sweeping generalizations about men and women, which is extremely frustrating, especially as there's not a lot I can do to express myself properly in Finnish). Somehow as a result of this plus our lesson on adjectives, we ended up writing poems in small groups. I don't have mine, but the point is that it was about Michael Fassbender and George Clooney and why they are komea and tyylikäs, respectively. Oh baby oh baby.

I bet you thought I was kidding, too.

Part 3: I am a big proponent of Creamsicles, mostly because I'm hoping that if I pretend to be some huge vocal supporter of them right now, maybe they'll bring back those limited edition Orange Cream Pop-Tarts, which I thought were delicious.

Finland, however, goes one better: it has Tiger flavored ice cream.

Tiikeri ice cream tastes like someone ate a Creamsicle and then said, "You know what would be great? If this were actually delicious." But they said it in Finnish, and then, boom! TIIKERI FOR ERRYONE!

Except not everyone. Just me, because I bought it and I am in Finland.

Uhhhhh this post needs more pictures and then I'll leave you alone for a while. This is, for those of you keeping track at home, my last week in Vaasa before heading out for a week of supporting Helsinki's tourism industry and then heading on over to wherever I feel like because I'm unemployed and out of school and I can do what I want and I really am quite lightheaded right now so have some pictures.

That time I looked up from the foamsplosion for like five seconds.

We learned that every period was Alvar Aalto's blue period.

Disneyland Finland has the creepiest rides.

Do not be fooled. This goat only likes to play games with people's hearts, and no, I don't want to talk about it.

-Spinat. Is it the same in English?
-Spinach, yeah?
-I don't know. The Popeye stuff.

Vaasa: The self-discovery bit

Our assignment for class tomorrow is to speak (in Finnish, of course) for two hours MINUTES on something about which we have a strong opinion.

Here's the thing: I can't think of a single thing.

I've come up with two possible reasons for this that seem likely to me. The first is that I'm pretty sure that all my opinions are about things that no one in my Finnish class will care about: that Kelly Rowland was the best member of Destiny's Child, for example, or that pasta is best when it's filled with cheese.

This is, by no means, all of the candy I've eaten on this trip.

The second possibility is that there's a slight chance that I think my opinions are actually all facts: people who dislike Monkey Island are dumb, my junk food intake should never be limited by the laws of physics, etc. These things should be self-evident, and I can't quite comprehend how any rational human being could disagree. (And when one does, I just yell a lot. There's probably a better way to handle my life, come to think of it, but what would I blog about?)

The more likely explanation is weaksauce, which is why I pretended it didn't exist up until this paragraph: I'm rather averse to rocking the boat, and the problem with opinions is that someone always disagrees. I CAN'T HANDLE IT. (How have I lived this long?) And in Finnish class, I can't tell if everyone's dumbfounded stares are because I've just something horribly unacceptable or because no one was actually paying attention. (Hint: it's probably the latter.)

The rocks'll cost ya extra.

Anyway, that's enough about me. You came here for pictures of trees and water, and pictures of trees and water you will get. Also, someone remind me to post about the ~cruise~ we went on, thank you very much. I want to use the word "foamsplosion" in it, so it's in everyone's best interest that I get around to putting together said post in the near future.

Vaasa: Kaikki päätyy

Daniel Radcliffe: really tall for real

I'm trying not to eat any more sugar today, because I'm worried that I'm going to see the tagline "It all ends" flashing in multiple languages and colors everywhere I go (i.e. my room). In other words, I saw Harry Potter today (+100 crying points) and learned a few things.

No. 1: The larch

1. The Swedish word for "snake" is the same as the Danish word for "worm." As a result, the Danish girl I saw the movie with was probably not as terrified of Nagini as I was.
2. Minerva McGonagall is amazing.
3. I eat everyone's popcorn if they don't eat it first.
4. I really, really love forests full of birch trees, but almost every picture I take of them turns out blurry. I JUST GET SO EXCITED
5. I make entire blog posts to have an excuse to post pictures of birch trees.
6. Also to type SNAAAAAAAAAAAPE ;_______________;
7. SNAAAAAAAAAAAPE ;_______________;
8. We could go on and discuss how I occasionally ditch perfectly harmless socializing opportunities to play Knights of the Old Republic, which I've only played maybe a zillion times.
9. But we won't.
10. But we WILL discuss how the Golden Girls youtube channel (MY PLACE OF RESIDENCE) got taken down (AND NOW I AM ESSENTIALLY HOMELESS) (MAYBE THESE ARE FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS)
11. IT SUCKS.
12. But video games are cool.

Vaasa: File under "Things that speak for themselves"

Vaasa: Obligatory weather post

As I'm sure you've noticed, I am horrifically spoiled all the time, by which I mean I am from San Francisco, and many of us are maybe the worst people at not being in San Francisco. I could go on about this further, because I'm very long-winded, but the important thing is: weather.

Weather is a big deal to me. Bay Area natives are, per my former coworker's EMT class, high risk in severe weather by virtue of living in the Bay Area. And by severe, I mean anything below 50°F and over 70°F, because of course that's ridiculous.

Don't be fooled; this is the actual air.

It's 63°F here at the moment. Fine. It probably wasn't much warmer yesterday. Fine. But the difference between today and yesterday is something like 30% humidity. And it is, as it turns out, kind of a big deal.

Google weather says that the humidity in San Francisco right now is 100%! But it's all fog. Cheaters.

That's enough about that. Vaasa is very clean, and it would probably be very relaxing to walk around it and eat. (In an unlikely turn of events, I spotted a  Mexican restaurant in the town square earlier, and I'm extremely curious as to how good it actually is...)

Perhaps that time will come in the next three weeks. But in the meantime, I haven't eaten cheese since I got here on Monday, so apologies for any undue crankiness. There has never been a time in my life that I have wanted to bite straight into a large block of cheddar more than I have right now.

Helsinki: Jetlag, day 3

I hate it when all my clothes fly out the window at once.

Helsinki is pretty awesome. I know, because I was there.

I have learned quickly, however, that my body is not so sure about this whole traveling thing. My jetlag is finally starting to clear up, but my left eyelid is a little swollen and my digestion is a little... impaired, but whatever, who needs food? Cholera is totally cool because you can get it in Oregon Trail, and Helsinki is totally cool because you don't get mugged all the time. And all the buildings are tall and the streets are narrow and huzzah, you're in Europe!

(Also, all the seagulls sound like siamangs. As someone who has lived very close to both the beach and the zoo in San Francisco, I feel that I have the authority to make this claim.)

Wild. Berry. Fanta.

The important thing is that I had a pink doughnut and it was filled with jam. Also, Fanta in a flavor that doesn't exist in the United States, booya.

Basically, I eat a lot. This should come as news to no one.

Tomorrow, I leave for my language course in scenic, coastal Vaasa. It's got almost twice the land area of San Francisco and about a thirteenth of the population. I expect I'll still manage to get lost.

Helsinki: Blurhgdfjkhasdlfhfkjgjhjkd

Just bullet points, because I'm too tired to be interesting:

Do they still make these? I want like fifty

• oh my gosh, jetlag.
• I dreamed that I made a sandwich with cheese, mozzarella sticks, pasta, pasta sauce, and more cheese, and it was better than Denny's, probably.
• that had nothing to do with Helsinki.
• there are lots of trees here.
• it seems like a pretty awesome place, but I've been asleep for something like 13/19 hours that I've been here, so I'll get back to you. WITH PICTURES.

San Francisco: A big hand for Mr. Rochester

EXCEPT NOT.

This has nothing to do with traveling, but whatever. I'm pretty much all packed, printing out airport maps, and watching the BBC version of Jane Eyre. It's fantastic. Mr. Rochester is a beautiful creature who broods like a very broody thing from the... planet of Brood or something, I don't know. This is the first time I've watched any version of Jane Eyre all the way through (I start playing video games by the time Liz Taylor dies in the first), and so it is time for some long-delayed venting.

SERIOUSLY, MR. ROCHESTER. SERIOUSLY?

and then a hint of this:

SERIOUSLY, JANE. SERIOUSLY?

In other news, everything I am wearing today is velour-ish because apparently the only things I haven't packed are velour.

You needed to know any of this.

San Francisco: Fact 5

I found a dollar in my room. Packing is AWESOME.

San Francisco: Cat, 1; Adriane, 0... one last time.

That's a very misleading title. I've still got a good 44 hours in this city; I'm sure my cat will find a way to put me in my place at least once more before I go.

I'm pretty sure that this blog is already ridiculous, so I apologize if you were looking for quality and somehow stumbled across this. (And just how did you do that, anyway?) I think it sounds good if I say that this blog is probably about parallel to quality: the two may never intersect. Nonetheless, I will try to explain some things about my quality-adjacent blog.

Fact 1: The line "Yeah, baby, we're going ABROAD!" is from America's Next Top Model. I'm pretty sure it's cycle 10, because I think I can hear it in Anya's vaguely deranged voice (EDIT: right cycle, wrong girl; it was Katarzyna). Or maybe I made the whole thing up. Either way, probably something I'll regret later. If I get around to it.

Fact 2: I chose this background because I think it would make a great Snuggie. My secret Snuggie desires are so hard to repress sometimes. That was a terrible background. Here, have some squiggly lines.

Fact 3: I am lying in bed right now, consumed by nausea and covered in a cat, less than two days before my nervewracking first-ever jaunt outside the country. Mostly, I'm terrified of flying, so let's all give Lost a big round of applause for having a major impact on my life (besides all the withdrawal symptoms... someone ask Damon Lindelof when the internal cardiac bleeding is supposed to let up).

Fact 4: That said, Finland is kind of my childhood dream. This should explain a lot about me.

So... there. As soon as I can get up from under this cat, yeah, baby, we're going abroad.